Vulnerable
by paragirl91
Summary: I've decided to rewrite the storyline of when Brendan gets Ste to bring him home from the hospital after the explosion in Ireland that happened in laters. The first few chapters will follow the same as the aired episodes, but then I will be changing one part of the story which I am sure you can probably guess ;) so will then be creating my own plot from then on.
1. Chapter 1

This chapter is canon, but I've added in my own ideas to what I believe they would be thinking and feeling.

****** - these mark the beginning and end of a flashback.

Hope you enjoy :)

Vulnerable - Chapter 1

**Brendan's pov**

He needed to get out of this hospital, the constant beeping and harsh lights were enough to give anyone a headache, let alone someone who'd been flung half way across a beach after an explosion. Of course the doctor wasn't having any of it:

'I'm afraid that what you want and what your body needs are two entirely different things.'

This couldn't be happening, Brendan would go insane if he had to stay here any longer, he felt perfectly fine…well, as well as he could. In true Brendan Brady style it was time to get tough, he always got what he wanted….one way or another.

He grabbed the doctor by the lapels of his suit jacket, threatening that it would be a very bad idea if he didn't do as he asked. Instantly the man (he didn't bother to remember his name) became more feasible, stating that the only way he could be discharged were if someone at home were able to take over his care. This wasn't exactly what Brendan had intended, he didn't like to rely on anyone, especially when he had a name to live up to. Nobody saw his vulnerable side, well maybe Steven on occasion, but any time that did happen Brendan always made sure he instantly pushed him away, creating a barrier.

The image of Steven's face came in to his head at this thought, giving him an idea. Since Cheryl won't talk to him, the only other person he could possibly rely on would be Steven. Steven was with Doug now, but Brendan knew the boy still held a flame for him, they were unfinished business, the pair of them. _Every day until I'm in my grave you'll always be in my head. _That statement still stood….always would, and they both knew it.

**Ste's pov**

Ste closed his eyes and tried to focus on being here with Doug, on being happy, not letting his mind wander to other things, or more like other people which was more often than not.

Ste could taste Doug's coffee breath as their lips met and he tried to part Ste's lips with his tongue.

'Happy engagement' he cheerily mumbled as they pulled apart.

Ste smiled at the reminder. He was definitely happy to be getting married to Doug, he'd be lying if he said he wasn't, but he couldn't get rid of a nagging feeling in the back of his mind that was telling him something was missing. He had to focus on the present now though, and also the future ahead that Doug could offer him. He had stability with Doug, someone that he knew would always be there for him to come home to. They would raise the kids together like a proper family, like the family he'd never had when he was growing up. If he could offer that to his kids, then he knew he was doing something right.

His phone ringing cut in to his thoughts.

'Saved by the bell!' Doug chimed in his usual sarcastic tone. Ste knew that that meant it could only be one person that was ringing.

'Brendan!'

Doug started twittering on about letting Brendan know about their engagement, but Ste couldn't deal with that right now. The truth was, he'd already paid Brendan a visit in hospital to tell him, wanted it to come from his own mouth. Doug didn't know of course, was best not to tell him Ste decided, would only cause trouble, especially after the way he'd reacted at even a hint of Ste's concern for Brendan when Cheryl had come in to the deli, lines of worry etched all over her face, she looked like she hadn't slept in days.

****** The sight of Brendan in that hospital bed had brought a lump to Ste's throat, reminded him of the time it was his fault Brendan was in hospital, a time he'd rather forget. He'd never seen him looking so vulnerable, like a lost little boy with puppy dog eyes who needed someone to take care of him.

Ste didn't know how he was going to do it, tell Brendan about the engagement, but it had to be done otherwise it would only be a matter of time before he found out via someone else, and that definitely wasn't going to happen.

He couldn't look him in the eyes when he told him, could sense Brendan tensing and couldn't bring himself to witness the expression he knew Brendan would be wearing. He started backtracking like he always does in an awkward situation, stating that obviously the engagement were to Doug. He knew that Brendan could see straight through it, knew how nervous he was, and how they were both secretly dying inside. This was only confirmed when he finally allowed himself to view the pained expression written all over Brendan's face. Ste wanted nothing more than to embrace him, take the pain away and explain why he had to do this, but of course he couldn't, he had to be stubborn now, had to remind himself that there could never be a future with Brendan.

Brendan offered a congratulations which sounded more like a question, he obviously wasn't sure how Ste was expecting him to react, didn't know which side of himself to show. He didn't have to show anything though, Ste could read him like a book, all the more reason for him to make a quick exit.

Before he could even decide himself to leave, Brendan made the decision for him:

'You should go now….please?'

It started off as a demand, and then turned in to a question, but overall it was a plead. Brendan was almost begging him to leave. Leave his sight so he didn't have to look Ste in the eyes anymore and pretend that everything was ok.

Ste knew the deal. Forced a breezy tone in to his voice and acted as though it was obvious that he should be leaving now, as though he needed to get back anyway. Part of him wanted to stay, but there was nothing left to say. He'd poured the salt in to Brendan's open wounds and now he had to leave, had to let Brendan writhe in his own agony and deal with it himself, in his own way.

It was lucky that Ste had left, he didn't have to witness the painful tear that was now rolling down Brendan's cheek. ******

He quickly answered the phone to the familiar way his name would be spoken in that Irish accent. After all that was said yesterday though, he couldn't understand why Brendan was now calling. He assumed that he'd never want to speak to him again. Would instantly distance himself like he was so good at doing. Ste tried to act nonchalant, after all, Doug was listening so he didn't want him to sense anything but indifference from the phone call.

Brendan was speaking in paradoxes making Ste impatient. He didn't have time for his games now, what did he want? He clearly wanted something, Brendan wasn't the kind of guy who rang for idle chit chat.

**Brendan's pov**

He knew that he'd win Steven over. He thought that he'd never want to see the boy again after he found out he was marrying that pathetic Douglas, but who was he kidding? He would never be able to completely cut Steven out of his life, Steven was his own personal brand of heroin. He knew deep down that eventually he would find some excuse to see him, just didn't realise that it would literally be the day after, wounds still open and sore.

It was the oddest thing, having Steven helping him through the door whilst he was sat helpless in a wheelchair. He felt like a baby again, stuck in a pram. Luckily no one else from the village was around to witness this, would have done some serious damage to his street cred.

The house was so quiet without Cheryl, it should have been her bringing Brendan home, bustling about the house making sure he had everything he needed, plying him with copious amounts of fuss and unwanted attention.

As if reading his mind Steven asked:

'Why me?'

Steven knew about Cheryl's refusal to be anywhere near him, obviously didn't know the horrific details that accompanied the reason for that (he'd be running a mile too if he'd witnessed Brendan butchering another human being. Anyone would.) But then he stuck the knife in without even realising what he was doing.

'Why didn't you call your weird mate Walker?' He asked.

If only Steven knew the very reason why he could not, and certainly would not call upon that "weird mate."

Brendan tried to brush Steven off as he continued to ask an array of questions. He had to keep him in the dark, he had to keep Steven out of this…keep him safe.

Sensing that he wasn't getting anywhere Steven started trying the hard done by card, irresistibly pouting and suggesting that Brendan only rang him because there was no one else left. This was, to some extent true, but Steven, along with Cheryl and his kids would always be his number one priority. Whether they were together or not was irrelevant, Brendan was always pulled in the direction that Steven was, he could not deny the hold that the boy had over him, and would spend the rest of his life following him to the ends of the earth, even just for a glimpse of what he could have had.

'You're always front of the queue Steven, you know that.'

Steven was here, standing right in front of him. Even if he was wearing that ridiculous pink patterned shirt, Brendan wouldn't have cared if he was dressed in a banana costume, the fact that he'd gone out of his way to make sure Brendan was ok was making his heart beat faster. The boy's presence did funny things to him, and before he knew it, Brendan was following this statement with:

'In the bedroom.'

Oh my god! What was he thinking? Smart move dumbo! Now you really have gone and put your foot in it.

Before the look of shock and confusion spread any further across Steven's face he managed to dig himself out of a very big hole.

'I, I mean, in the, in the bedroom…bedside table, there's an envelope….last thing I'll ask of ye.'

The hesitation and tone of awkwardness wouldn't have gone unnoticed with Steven he was sure, but all he could do now was brush it off and ignore the wary looks he was getting. Steven was just here to help him out of hospital, that was all, nothing else, he must remember that.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you so much for all of the wonderful reviews. They've really made me smile and I'm glad that you like what I've done here. **

**This second chapter is still canon as I don't want to rush the story too quickly. I do however apologise if there is anything I get wrong in the storyline, really didn't have enough time though to watch all the episodes before these particular ones. There will also be no Walker storyline involved.**

**It also picks up exactly from where I left off ;)**

Vulnerable - Chapter 2

**Brendan's pov**

Brendan had put aside an envelope with a wad of cash, stashed it away in his room for a rainy day. He wanted to give it to Steven now, show him that he really did appreciate how he was putting himself out for him. If truth be told, no amount of money could ever portray just how much Steven really meant to him, but for now, this was all he had and would have to do.

'Call it an engagement present' he said as he handed it over.

The sentence made him cringe as soon as he opened his mouth, he also wondered whether Steven had noticed the hint of bitterness that laced his words. Knowing Steven though, he was probably too taken aback by what Brendan had just put in his hand.

'I can't take this!'

That boy was always so stubborn. Of course he could take it, of course he _should_ take it. After everything that Brendan had put him through, and the fact that Steven always came back, always gave him another chance, this was the least he could do for him. Money was dispensable, Steven was not.

Steven was giving him a confused look now, wondering why on earth he would be handing over a large percentage of his life savings to him. That boy really did not know his worth did he? Brendan wasn't sure however, how to explain why he was doing this, sometimes it was hard to explain things to himself where Steven was concerned.

'You and Douglas need a holiday.'

Maybe he would think that Brendan really was happy for them and wanted to do something nice.

'I hear America's nice this time of the year' he continued.

'You can get each other matching baseball caps.'

That was more like it, trademark Brady sarcasm to signal just how ridiculous the concept of Steven and Douglas really was to him. He didn't know about baseball _cap_, but he knew what he'd want to do to Douglas with a baseball _bat_. Or maybe Steven would come to his senses and beat him to it….after all, he'd already had some practice.

Brendan quickly shook the thoughts and images out of his head.

'Oh right, yeah, there we go, that's more like it!'

Shit! Steven was pissed!

'I'm serious!'

His tone was more sobered now, he was only messing before, wasn't he?

'You should, you should get away' he stuttered.

He really should get away, as far from him as possible. Brendan would only lure him in again, he couldn't deny that after Steven had told him about the engagement, all he could think about were ways to break it off. In some scenarios he'd even pictured himself chasing after Steven down the aisle, a scene that made him shudder in embarrassment. But sometimes desperate times called for desperate measures.

Steven was pushing the opened envelope back towards him now in rejection, he looked like he wanted to leave, instantly making Brendan panic.

**Ste's pov**

How dare he just think he can throw money at me and Doug again! He'd already done it with the deli, nearly broke us up because of it! And here he is again, just thinking he can buy me, _control_ me with his money. That's what it always is with him….control! So uncomfortable in his own shell that he has to dominate everyone else around him. I can't do this, not anymore. This is why I'm marrying Doug.

The way he's looking at me now though, it's different. He's actually being genuine, just using the sarcasm as a cover up. I can't take his money though. That's the problem with Brendan, money has been the only thing that he's known, the one thing that gives him control, that he has control over. Forever fighting off self belief that people would actually want to know him for him, and not for materialistic reasons. Ste can't deny though that Brendan's reputation wouldn't particularly encourage people to take the time to get to know him, the real him, without all of the gangster façade.

This is why he's smirking now, when he tells Brendan that he definitely will not take his money, even if Brendan says please. The fact that Brendan thought that one word would make this whole situation acceptable has him trying to hold back a laugh. Typical Brendan! Definitely not a word he's used to using very often, even sneers as it comes out of his mouth. Ste's touched though that he would say it just for him.

'Right, so what now?' he asks.

Brendan's sat in a wheelchair offering him money that he's now rejecting, he's not really sure what the next step should be. Not right now, and not in the wider picture of things either. He wonders whether Brendan is also thinking about the double meaning behind his question.

Maybe he was, because Brendan is now telling him to go home. Pushing him away again. Something that Ste should be used to by now. He's not letting this happen at this moment in time though, Brendan's been in hospital for god's sake, he needs to remember that. He can't even walk, let alone look after himself. He really needs to stop being so stubborn and put some of his pride to one side just for now.

Ste instantly regrets grabbing for his hand as Brendan tries to wheel himself towards the door. Even the slightest of touches feel far too intimate between them, mainly because of the rush of warmth and adrenaline that pulses through him as their skin makes contact reminding them that they have a connection. If they allowed themselves, they could create something special. Ste knows it's not just the effect Brendan has on him, he knows that Brendan feels it too, that assault of desire, his eyes give it away, plus the fact that he instantly brushes Ste off, scared of what might happen if they stay attached for longer than necessary.

Brendan's trying to push him away again. Feelings aside, there's no way Ste would feel comfortable just leaving Brendan to his own devices, stuck in that house, in a wheelchair, where he can't even tie his own shoe laces. He's getting frustrated with him now, accent getting thicker:

'You ave to make everythin so ard for yaself don't ya?'

He could tell he wasn't going to win this battle though.

'Right, if ya want me, you know where I am.'

He heaved himself off the sofa and strode towards the door in defeat.

'Steven?'

Ste felt his heart stop as Brendan called him back, as he turned to face him he could see the look of sadness in the older man's eyes.

'Thank you' he simply said.

It wouldn't have sounded much to anyone else, but Ste knew this wasn't a phrase that was heard from Brendan very often, and he could see just how much he really meant it.

Ste's heart instantly warmed and he couldn't help the big goofy grin that was now spreading across his face. Brendan appreciated him, and that was all that mattered. He could put on the big bad wolf act for as long as he wanted, but he would always need Ste, and for once, it was actually nice for him to be able to look after Brendan. Usually it was Brendan trying to fight all of Ste's battles for him, being overprotective and stating that he knew what was best for him. For once in his life Brendan was more helpless than Ste, and it was now Ste's turn to offer him support, to give him the lifeline that no one else could.

He hurried out of the door then before anymore sentimental thoughts could fill his mind. Douglas, that was the name of his fiancé. Douglas! He would be waiting for him, and he couldn't exactly embrace his future husband with open arms whilst consumed with thoughts of Brendan.

Little did Ste know, that on his walk back to the deli, Brendan sat staring at a closed door.

**Sorry this chapter was quite short, but it seemed like a good place to end as from now on it will start to get a bit less canon.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for the reviews, going to start mixing things up a bit now. Still going to use elements of canon, but also switch scenes around as it will work much better that way.**

Vulnerable - Chapter 3

**Brendan's pov**

Brendan couldn't stand this much longer, he'd been sat staring at his front door for what felt like an eternity. Truth be told, it had probably only been fifteen minutes max since he'd been left without Steven's presence, but the place was now eerily silent without Steven's chatter bouncing off the walls and it left Brendan feeling cold.

It was a pathetic attempt, but Brendan didn't know what else to do, he could hardly ring Steven mere minutes after he'd left telling him to come back because he missed him could he? He decided no and opted for the "desperate times call for desperate measures" plan, this meant sending Steven a text message that plainly said 'Help.' Now Brendan had pressed the send button, there was no going back. He psyched himself up because he knew this was going to hurt, throwing yourself out of a wheelchair hardly did wonders for broken ribs and bruised muscles. As he used every ounce of energy he had to tip the wheelchair over, as he writhed on the ground in agony, all he could think of was Steven, and how he hoped he'd get here soon.

**Ste's pov**

He panicked as soon as he'd received Brendan's text, anyone would if they'd been sent that. What the hell could have happened? He'd only left him about fifteen minutes ago. Ste knew he was meant to be meeting Doug at the deli now but Brendan needed him. His legs had him running to Brendan's front door without even thinking about it, hammering on the door as though his life depended on it. When Brendan replied Ste shoved the front door open and ran to Brendan's side as he found him sprawled on the floor unable to move.

'My week just got worse.' Brendan groaned.

'Stay there.' Ste instructed as he positioned the wheelchair upright again and hooked his arms under Brendan's shoulders to heave him up. Brendan was a lot heavier than Ste, but as if on auto-pilot, Ste dragged him upright with as much strength as he could muster, proving stronger than he thought. Brendan grunted in pain but Ste managed to sit him down in the wheelchair, scanning his face for any signs of pain, his own expression one of sheer concern, Brendan didn't fail to notice and gave Ste a weak smile.

'What happened?' Ste asked.

**Brendan's pov**

He panicked then, hadn't really decided what he was going to tell Steven, about why the boy was sent an SOS message and had to almost break in to his house to find him an incapable mess on the living room floor.

Steven was looking at him quizzically, brow furrowed, expecting an answer.

'I, I was tryin to get to the sofa.' He mustered. 'Thought I could manage to lift myself out of the chair to sit down but my legs couldn't quite make it.'

'Why do you need the sofa when you're already sittin down in ya wheelchair?'

The boy really did have all the answers didn't he. Brendan rolled his eyes.

'Well believe it or not Steven, it's hardly the most comfortable seat I've ever sat in.'

'Alright, point taken!' Steven held his hands up in defeat.

'I were so worried when I got ya text.' Steven continued.

Brendan's mouth twitched as his adoration for the boy swelled.

The next thing Steven was leaning in towards him, Brendan could feel his breath. He panicked and tried to lean away, as much as he wanted Steven he knew he was no good for him and had to fight himself to let him be with Douglas, that was the moral thing to do. Brendan Brady, with morals, the universe would be laughing at him right now.

As he shrank back, Steven looked concerned.

'What are ye doing?' The sentence came out quieter and more breathy than Brendan had hoped.

Steven was confused now:

'Well I were gonna help ya over to the sofa, cus that's where you wanted to be, right?'

Brendan could have smacked himself on the forehead for being so stupid and jumping to conclusions, of course Steven wouldn't try anything on. He wasn't like that. He _did_ have morals.

'I'm not your problem Steven.'

'You'll always be my problem.' Steven sighed.

Brendan's stomach did a little flip at that statement. He offered him a small appreciative smile in return and Steven was quick to beam one back. It felt good to be like this again, so at ease with one another. For that split second, Brendan could almost kid himself that things would stay like this, that Steven wouldn't be going back to Douglas, that they could stay in their own little bubble, and that Brendan wasn't constantly trying to fight an inner battle, emotions conflicting whenever he was around the lean boy, and even when he was not.

**Ste's pov**

Brendan really had little faith in him, even though they weren't together any more, after everything they'd been through, Ste was hardly going to just leave him to get on with it, especially in the state he was in.

He hooked his arms under Brendan's again and encouraged him to lean his weight in to his front, Brendan seemed begrudging at first which Ste gathered to be a pride thing, but he soon obliged and Ste found himself staggering backwards with the weight of Brendan Brady literally on his shoulders.

He managed to shuffle them both towards the sofa but somehow managed to hit back in to the arm rest at an awkward angle, and before Ste knew it, he was toppling over on to the sofa, Brendan falling on top of him.

Both of their faces were a picture. Ste felt awkward and uncomfortable right now while Brendan's weight was pinning him down. Of course Brendan used this moment to crack a joke and flash Ste a flirtatious smile. That man was unbelievable!

'I bet it's a while since you've been on the bottom.'

Ste ignored him and tried to wriggle from underneath.

'Urgh Brendan, will ya at least try and help me move ya off me just a little bit?'

'Ye never complained before Steven.'

'Oh ha ha!….Ya squashin me!'

Brendan's face sobered now as he used the strength in his arms to push his upper body away from Ste's so Ste was able to move him over in to a seated position next to him on the sofa.

'Well we got there in the end.'

Ste was nervous now. His lips had just been inches away from Brendan's, and neither of them could deny that they hadn't been tempted, even just for a second.

Brendan was twiddling his thumbs now, hands clasped in his lap clearly feeling just as awkward now as Ste was. He was looking down, concentrating on his hands, but when he looked up Ste could see worry lines etched on his face.

'I didn't hurt ye did I?'

Ste smiled. Brendan was the one who'd been hospitalised, but as usual, he still worried about Ste more than himself.

'I'm fine' he laughed. 'Ya muscles don't weigh that much.'

Brendan smirked along now:

'But ye can't deny, they are pretty big.'

'Don't flatter yaself Mr Michelin man' Ste jibed. He playfully formed a fist to knock in to Brendan's arm but as he did so Brendan let out a hiss of discomfort.

Ste scolded himself instantly for hurting the wounded man.

'Oh god, Bren, I'm so sorry! Are you alright?'

Without thinking, Ste had instinctively straddled Brendan, rubbing up and down his upper arms as if to sooth them, and cradled his face in his hands, searching his eyes for any more signs of damage.

Brendan was silent.

Ste continued to bore in to his eyes, face filled with concern as his fingers began to trace the stitches and cuts covering Brendan's face.

Brendan flinched slightly but didn't move. Ste's eyes had started to grow darker.

'They're healing.' He barely recognised his voice as it came out in a whisper.

All Brendan could do was slightly nod, too intoxicated by the male on his lap.

Ste took his time, carefully feeling every ridge over Brendan's cheeks and forehead with his fingertips, then moving lower to trace the outline of his moustache. Suddenly Ste was letting out a breath he didn't even know he was holding in, it made him shudder as only now did he realise just how close he was to the Irishman.

As if in slow motion, Ste leant down closer towards Brendan's face, watching as his eyelids fluttered as he did so. Brendan had a butterfly stitch above his left eyebrow which Ste brought his warm lips to, healing with a kiss. He could feel the rise and fall of Brendan's chest and each movement made the anticipation that little bit more intense, filling Ste with an excitement he knew was wrong to be happening.

His movements became more confidant now, peppering Brendan with small kisses all over his face, from his forehead, down to the bridge of his nose. As he suddenly reached the edge of Brendan's moustache, he pulled back, realising what the next move could only be.

Ste rested their foreheads together, staring in to Brendan's eyes, seeking a kind of permission that they both already knew the answer to. Blue eyes mirrored blue eyes, piercing in to one another's soul. Brendan looked sure of this, his stare unwavering from Ste's, a look of confident triumph that encouraged Ste to abandon any doubts that may have been present. Ste shakily met his lips with Brendan's and was immediately overcome by the warmth and love that he felt there.

**Brendan's pov**

Steven was the sweetest thing he had ever tasted, it was only now, after so long apart, that finally being reunited with the only drug that Brendan had not only craved, but _needed _to stay alive, did he realise just how much he could never, ever not be with Steven.

This beautiful boy was whimpering in his lap as he continued to cup Brendan's face, pulling him in as close as they could possibly get. They started off gentle, but now their craving for each other was gradually overtaking the senses, causing a frantic crashing of lips and powerful surge of tongues. Steven was kissing Brendan as though his life depended on it, while Brendan grabbed every inch of Steven he could get his hands on, slowly working his way up underneath the boy's t shirt, palming the smooth skin he never wanted to forget the feel of.

Steven had started rocking in to Brendan's lap, groin brushing groin, creating friction that made Brendan groan with an intense want. If only this boy knew what he were doing to him, although Brendan was sure his sudden hard on would probably speak for itself.

He cupped the boy's arse cheeks, sliding him further up his lap meaning that he rocked in to that exact spot that made Brendan make the filthiest noises. Steven's own whimpers were growing louder and more frantic as his cheeks flushed and hair became dishevelled. Brendan eased Steven's t shirt up over his head and drank in the beauty of his naked torso, even though he'd seen it all before, it still took his breath away.

He kissed Steven's navel and flicked his tongue around it, holding the boy in place. Breathing in the scent of naked skin, _the_ naked skin made him relax, breath tickling the hairs on Steven's stomach.

Brendan continued kissing Steven's torso as Steven leant his face in to Brendan's hair, both were reacquainting themselves with every part of each other, and this time Brendan would savour every moment.

As if someone was reading his mind, Steven's phone started ringing. Both heads shot up as Brendan cursed in frustration.

Steven spun around in Brendan's lap, craning to see where he'd left his phone.

'Leave it!'

Brendan grasped both hands around Steven's hips trying to hold him in to place.

The look on Steven's face told Brendan he was fighting an internal battle, they both knew who was probably calling, as it was the person Steven should have been with right now.

Steven's eyes located his phone on the arm of the opposite sofa as he struggled off of Brendan's lap trying not to hurt him, and left him with a guilty glance.

'Hiya!' Ste coughed to clear his voice.

The tone was a bit too breezy for Brendan's liking, they both knew full well what would have happened if Douglas hadn't have interrupted. Brendan felt his hands balling in to fists at the sheer frustration of it all.

'I know, yeah….I'm so sorry…no I know Doug, but I..ermm…well Amy rang, yeah Amy rang sayin she'd had a fall out with that new bloke of hers, ermm…just a petty argument really but she were dead upset so I've only just come off the phone to her, she just needed someone to talk to ya know?…..yeah…..no it's ok now…..yeah course, I'm on me way….love you too….bye.'

So he was lying to him now? Couldn't even tell him that he'd been in Brendan's presence?

'Why the story Steven?'

'Wha?'

Steven spun around with a confused look on his face. He was still shirtless and Brendan had to divert his eyes so that he could remember that he was now meant to be annoyed with him.

'Why couldn't Douglas know you were here?'

Steven looked annoyed now.

'Oh so you think that when me fiancé rings askin where I am cus I were meant to meet him half hour ago, that it's alright to turn round and tell im that I'm here wiv you, and that we just nearly….' His voice faltered then.

Brendan huffed out a sigh.

'You could have told him half of the truth…that I had a fall, no one else was around so I needed ye help. After all…..ye did sign at the hospital to take over my care.'

Steven's face flickered with a different emotion then which made Brendan's stomach lurch.

'He doesn't know does he?' Brendan asked.

Steven remained silent.

'Steven…..does Douglas know you brought me back from the hospital?'

'No, alright….he doesn't!'

Ste slumped his shoulders and was now aggressively grabbing his discarded t shirt from off the floor to dress himself.

'So that would have been the end of the world would it?'

Brendan was getting annoyed now, and so was Ste as his voice began to rise:

'Of course it would! For Doug it would! Look….I'm gonna be marryin im alright? I can't keep runnin to me ex every time you clicks ya fingers.'

'Oh, so I'm an inconvenience am I? Well I am so sorry that I'm cooped up inside while you and ye precious Doug could be skipping around outside.'

In his anger Brendan momentarily forgot about his inability to walk and tried to rouse himself from the sofa which only resulted in a gasp of pain as he shrank back in to the cushions.

This made Ste stop for a moment while Brendan held his gaze through the silence. Eventually Ste let out a sigh.

'Look Bren, I don't wanna argue alright? I wanna help you, I do, but what just happened, it was wrong….so wrong.'

Brendan couldn't help but notice that the last part of that sentence came out a lot quieter.

Steven was moving over to the door now.

'I need to go and meet Doug, but I'll come back later with some food, you'll need some dinner. Just stay there and watch some telly or somethin while I'm gone will ya? I don't wanna come back to find you on the floor again.'

He attempted a smile which Brendan struggled to return. Soon the door was shut again and the boy was out of sight and out of reach. All Brendan could do was sit in the silence trying to understand what the hell was happening.


	4. Chapter 4

Vulnerable - Chapter 4

**As planned, Ste pops round with some dinner for Brendan who convinces him to stay.**

**Brendan's pov**

'Brendan, it's only me. Open up!'

Steven was back, knocking at the front door.

He'd kept his word then, Brendan knew he would though. Steven always was true to his word, even if it meant sneaking behind his fiancé's back. Brendan was the one who threw around empty promises, it made his stomach clench at the amount of times he'd let Steven down, and even after everything, here he still was, the boy with bright eyes and a crooked smile, unable to stay away from Brendan.

Brendan located the crutches next to the sofa, had learnt from his earlier mistake of trying to move on his own legs unaided. He just about managed to lean towards the door to turn the handle.

'I've got enough food in ere to feed a small Irish army yeah?'

Steven breezed through as though he owned the place. If he was being honest, that suited Brendan fine.

'Now don't say I don't do anythin for ya.'

Steven was already in the kitchen now, bustling around unpacking the food that he'd already prepared. Brendan was in awe at how he could light up a room instantly.

Steven was carrying him over a tray now to where he sat on the sofa still, carefully placing it on Brendan's lap for him. Nevermind the food, Brendan could smell Steven's scent, a mix of lynx, shampoo, and fried food, and it suddenly wasn't the food he wanted to devour anymore.

'It's lasagne, hope that's alright.'

'Anything ye cook is more than alright Steven.'

Ste blushed at the sentiment.

'Well there's jam roly poly too for afters.'

Brendan licked his lips.

'Ye spoil me, ye know that.'

Ste brushed it off.

'Aren't ye gonna join me?' Brendan asked. He felt a bit awkward sitting here eating a meal that Steven had made for him if he wasn't even eating himself.

'Ermm..well I…' Ste was blushing and stuttering.

'There's enough isn't there?' It was more of a statement than a question from Brendan, cornering Ste so there was no way out.

'Ermm, alright…yeah….I mean, Doug's out with Leanne any way which were why I could come over so, ermm..I'd only be at home on me own any way.'

'See Steven, it makes perfect sense.' Brendan smiled.

**Ste's pov**

Ste made his way back to the kitchen to grab himself a portion as Brendan happily tucked in to the food on his lap. Ste made sure to leave a little bit left though as he knew that Brendan always liked seconds. That man's appetite was insatiable! He didn't mind being here though, even though it probably wouldn't go down too well with Doug, he was out having a good time with Leanne, and well….Ste still did enjoy Brendan's company, he couldn't deny that.

He went and sat down on the opposite sofa to Brendan, wanted to give them both some space to eat properly, however, if Ste was being really honest, he still felt awkward about what had happened earlier. Brendan was relaxed as ever, but Ste couldn't help but wonder whether it was part of an act, and whether deep down he was buzzing with the tension just as much as Ste was.

'Mmmm s'good' Brendan grunted in approval half way through a mouthful. Was never one for manners was Brendan.

'Don't eat too quick, you'll give ya self indigestion ya will.' Ste laughed.

Brendan ignored him as Ste expected and continued to shovel in the lasagne.

'Anythin decent on telly then?' Ste asked.

Brendan nodded towards the remote on the coffee table, still focused on his meal. Ste decided on a cooking programme and let the tv fill the silence while he and Brendan ate.

Enjoying his last mouthful Ste suddenly became aware that he was being watched. He subconsciously blushed and turned in Brendan's direction, meeting his eyes and suddenly swallowing his food down in a lump. He jumped up before the situation could get any more awkward.

'Ready for some roly poly then?' He suddenly cringed at the possible innuendo which didn't go amiss with Brendan who managed a feeble smirk. He still looked rather vulnerable sat there, crutches propped up against the sofa, stitches adorning his face. Ste found it strange suddenly being the one in control, the person who was holding him together. What he didn't know was that he'd always been holding Brendan together, ever since they'd first met.

After dishing up the dessert and passing Brendan his bowl, Ste sat down next to him now without thinking about what he was doing. Brendan didn't flinch, and it was only when Ste let himself sink back in to the sofa in comfort that he realised just how close to Brendan he was when his head nearly rested on his arm. He shuffled to his left awkwardly and leant forward to place his bowl on to the carpet. As he did so, he felt the warmth of Brendan's hand on his knee. Ste's head shot round to see what an earth Brendan was playing at. Ste knew he was just as much to blame for what happened earlier, but he couldn't let that happen again, he wanted to be faithful to Doug, he really did, and that had to start now.

'Brendan, what are ya….?'

'Thank you Steven'

Ste gave him a confused look.

'I wanted to say thank you, for err….for lookin after me I guess. Ye didn't have to.'

Ste relaxed a bit now and gave Brendan a smile.

'Well I were hardly gonna leave ya were I? I mean, Cheryl's not speakin to ya, ya legs aren't exactly workin.'

'Steven!'

Oops, that came out a bit harsh. Ste laughed at his own bluntness.

'I'm sorreh' he smirked. Brendan didn't look amused however, was clearly trying to have a heart to heart here which didn't come easy for someone like Brendan.

'Well I guess I should be the one saying sorry Steven…..sorry you felt the need to lie to Douglas because of me.'

'Look..it's fine Brendan alright?' Ste sighed, he didn't want to drag all of this up again.

'No one made me lie to Doug, I decided on me own that it were for the best, but I know now that it's probably stupid….all of this sneakin around.'

Brendan remained silent, but he couldn't look Ste in the eye.

'Look…' Ste knew he had to broach the subject at some point, it was just screaming out in the silence.

'What happened earlier right, well….it shouldn't happen again.'

Brendan made a sarcastic grunt, still not meeting Ste's eye.

'Look at me Brendan!' Ste was getting irritated now. He cupped Brendan's chin and forced his face around to look at his own.

'I still care about ya, course I do, you're me mate. But that's all it can be ok? I'm gonna marry Doug.' Ste had to swallow then, for some reason bile had formed in his throat and he had to force it back down to continue his speech. It's just nerves he thought, nerves because he didn't like hurting Brendan, but this had to be said…..it had to.

**Brendan's pov**

Steven was still cupping his chin, forcing him to look him in the eye, something he was struggling to do right now. Brendan knew where this conversation was going, and it wasn't in a direction that he liked. Staring at Steven now made it even more obvious however just how nervous he looked. Steven's adam's apple was jutting out as he swallowed down hard, forcing himself to finish his sentence. He looked flustered, but to Brendan, this made him all the more beautiful.

'I know ya goin through a tough time and that, so I'll be ere as much as I can to help ya….but obviously I do need to put Doug first as well….'

Brendan could hear his voice, but wasn't paying attention to what he was actually saying. 'Damn! When did Steven's eyelashes get so long?' he thought.

'I'll try and talk to Cheryl for ya…I dunno what's gone on between you two but it can't be nothin ya can't fix right?…..Brendan? Are ya listenin to me?'

'Huh?' Brendan blinked himself out of a daydream, however he soon felt like he was still in one when Steven's face was now leant in even closer to his in an attempt to get him to concentrate.

'I said…..'

But before Steven could even continue, Brendan was leaning in for the kiss that he'd been craving all night.

Steven shot back like he'd been electrocuted and Brendan instantly cursed himself for being a fool, fucking it all up yet again.

Steven had already jumped to his feet and was frantically looking around for his jacket.

'I'm here as a mate right? That wasn't fair!'

Brendan shook his head in disbelief then. This wasn't fair? THIS wasn't fair? He found himself voicing his frustrations out loud:

'This isn't fair Steven? THIS isn't FAIR? So it's ok to go and watch ye be with someone else is it? Let ye MARRY someone else? And then…and then ye turn up here, act all concerned….try and have SEX with me….and now THIS isn't fair?' He was losing his temper now.

Ste looked taken aback for a second but was now making his way towards the door, as feisty as he was, there were certain types of confrontation that Steven couldn't handle, mainly when he was in the wrong, therefore yet again he was taking the easy option and walking out the door leaving Brendan to stew in the mess they'd just created.

'You know what Brendan..I don't need this right now.'

He turned the door handle.

'You don't need this right now? YOU don't need this?'

'This were a bad idea.'

And before Brendan could protest, Steven was out of that door just as quickly as he'd come in.

Brendan threw his crutches across the floor in anger and squeezed his eyes shut to block everything out.

'BASTARD! You complete and utter bastard Steven!'

**So I totally nicked a couple of lines from other episodes ;) **

**Sorry if this wasn't the way you expected this chapter to go but it just isn't Stendan without some angst and sassy arguments. **

**Have already started writing the next chapter though, and I'm hoping it's going to be a cracker :D But first things first…..let me know what you think of this one ;) **


	5. Chapter 5

Vulnerable - Chapter 5

**Thanks for sticking around….I think you'll enjoy this chapter ;)**

**Brendan's pov**

It was raining heavily tonight, 'there's a storm coming' Brendan thought to himself. The rain was so loud that he missed the knocking on his front door, it was only when the knocking became more frantic, and then louder that Brendan was able to distinguish it from the weather outside.

It was 11 o'clock at night, Brendan suddenly panicked about who could possibly be at his door this time of the evening, head frantically rummaging through thoughts of any dodgy dealings that he may have done lately. It was only when the sound of Steven crying out a helpless 'Brendan!' that Brendan's heart started to beat with a different kind of adrenaline.

Locating his crutches he shuffled towards the door, bracing himself as he opened it. Why was Steven here? He'd made his thoughts perfectly clear last night, after everything, he would still go running back to the safe haven of Douglas.

Steven was completely drenched, his clothing was dark with water stains and his hair was plastered flat to his head, beads of rain dripping from the front every so often. The image would have taken Brendan's breath away in any other circumstance, but the boy was clearly distressed. His eyes were red and blotchy as though he'd been crying, hands clenched in to fists that were undeniably shaking, and his chest was moving visibly fast telling Brendan that he was breathing erratically.

'Steven!' Brendan's greeting came out as a gasp, still in shock that Steven was on his doorstep in a complete and utter state.

Steven didn't respond for a few moments, all the two could do was stand and stare at one another, rain still beating down. Brendan shivered from the draft, he was only dressed in a pair of joggers and a vest, meaning to head off to bed soon.

Steven opened and closed his mouth, Brendan could see he wanted to say something but the words clearly wouldn't come out.

'I, I….I think I just broke up with Doug.' He eventually stammered. A single tear began to roll down his perfectly formed cheek bone.

All Brendan could do in that moment was blink in disbelief. Did he really just hear correctly? Steven had broken up with Douglas? He'd called off his engagement? And now he was here, at Brendan's house?

Ste properly looked at Brendan for the first time then, gazing worryingly in to his eyes, pleading Brendan to say something….anything.

'I…I think ye should come in.'

He heard the door shut but Brendan couldn't turn around just yet, turn around to face Steven and confront the mess that they were both in. He leant heavy on his crutches, letting his arms support his physical and mental weight, head drooping staring at his feet.

This was what he wanted wasn't it? Then why did it hurt so much? Steven could cause him more pain than all of his injuries put together.

He heard the shuffling of Steven's feet then, and a small whimper as Steven's cold shaking hand tentatively touched his shoulder. Brendan knew he had to face him at some point, was building up to the moment when he looked in to Steven's eyes knowing that the boy was about to bare his soul to him.

'S..say somethin….p..please?' Steven was almost begging, Brendan knew the boy wanted reassurance, for Brendan to tell him that he'd done the right thing, that everything would be ok…..that they would be ok.

Brendan forced himself to turn around now, crutches still taking his weight. Steven was closer to him than he'd expected meaning that he was able to lean forward and rest their foreheads together in a sign of defeat.

'What have ye done Steven?' Brendan sighed.

Steven's lip was quivering as he looked anxiously in to Brendan's eyes, worry etched all over his flawless face. He thought Brendan was going to dismiss him, every part of his body had tensed ready for rejection. Once upon a time Brendan probably would have pushed the boy away again, scared of letting him get too close, scared of promising him a future he knew he could never give, but this time….this was different.

In the past Brendan had watched Steven attempt various relationships, never too concerned because he always knew that with a bit of his own meddling it would never last. Rae, Noah, they weren't threats for Brendan, just a slight inconvenience that got in the way for a while. Brendan knew that Steven would always come back to him, all it took was an inappropriate brush of skin, a predatory stare and Steven went weak at the knees, putty in his hands.

Brendan made sure to use Steven's so called relationships to his advantage though, hence why he encouraged Steven's "relationship" with Rae. They meant a cover up, a cover up for Brendan who couldn't admit to his feelings for the same sex, and one person in particular. Brendan had had his fair share of meaningless twinks, just a scratch for an unnecessary itch, but Steven….Steven got under his skin deeper than any itch he'd ever had, the reason why Brendan had to make sure to push him away at every possible opportunity, but keep him just within reach when the temptation became too much to bear.

But now…..now, this was different. Brendan wasn't threatened by Douglas, of course he wasn't, that idea was absurd, but Douglas had managed to keep hold of what Brendan wanted, of what Brendan _needed._ He tried not to think of Steven as a possession any more, knew that ship had sailed a long time ago, Steven always was resentful of the control that Brendan enjoyed having over him, but what he didn't realise was that it wasn't a selfish kind of control that Brendan emitted, well ok…maybe it partly was, but it was always for the boy's own good, Brendan just wanted to keep him safe, needed to protect him for all he was worth.

When Douglas had come along as Steven's business partner Brendan made sure to pay regular visits to the deli, even as he watched them growing close he loved the way that he could walk through the door demanding an order that Steven would jump to fulfil. The look of disgust on Douglas' face made it even more worthwhile and naively Brendan was sure that this little stint would pan out the way all the others had. But now Steven had told him that they were planning to marry, the thought took Brendan's breath away and he hated himself for letting this happen, get this out of hand. He'd really done it now hadn't he? Pushed Steven so far that he'd given up and actually believed that Brendan didn't want him anymore, had found solace in the arms of another. If Brendan had have thought that this was what Steven wanted, then of course he would leave him to get on with it, albeit a struggle, but Brendan loved Steven too much to worry about his own happiness. Brendan knew that Steven's heart wasn't 100% in to his and Douglas' relationship though, he only had to look in to his eyes when they were together to see that, and hell, if yesterday's little stint didn't prove that, then Brendan didn't know what would. And here Steven was now, rain soaked from walking through the village to tell Brendan that it was him, always was and always would be him that he wanted. This was why Brendan had to give in.

Brendan cupped the boy's face with one hand, stroking away a tear with his thumb all the while gazing intently in to each other's eyes.

'This is really it isn't it?' Brendan just about managed to mumble.

Steven swallowed, head making an attempt at a nod.

'I…..I couldn't do it anymore.' He whispered.

Brendan squeezed his eyes shut for what he was about to say:

'Ye meant to be marrying him.'

He didn't want to be reminded of that fact, but the truth of the matter was, that Steven was engaged to Douglas, that can't be something you just go in to lightly, Brendan's Catholic upbringing had taught him that.

'I'm…it's…..'

Steven was frantically shaking his head now, struggling for the right words.

'It's over alright!'

He'd raised his voice now.

'It's you…..it's always been you! You know that, I know that, who were we really kiddin ey?'

Brendan had to smile at the truth of the boy's words.

The hand that Steven had shaken off now made its way back up to his face and stroked a stray hair out of the way. Brendan then let his fingers trace the contours of Steven's cheek and down to his pouted lips. All he wanted to do was kiss him, right now.

'Ye really left him…to come and be with me?'

Steven nodded, never taking his eyes off of Brendan's.

Brendan had been dreaming of such a scenario, just hadn't expected it to happen so quickly, or even happen at all. Maybe someone up there did like him after all.

'It can't be like it was though' Steven interrupted Brendan's thoughts. 'It….things have to change.'

'Hmm' Brendan nodded in agreement. He knew that this was their last shot and it definitely wouldn't work any other way.

'So…you can do that for me?'

Steven's heart was on his sleeve and Brendan certainly wasn't going to crush it this time.

'I….I will…..I really will Steven…just..just be patient with me yeah?'

Steven nodded in acceptance, Brendan breathed a sigh of relief that this was something the boy was prepared to do. He knew all too well by now not to rush Brendan when feelings were involved.

He was unsure of what to say or do now, Steven just stood there, all puppy dog eyes looking at Brendan as though everything rested on him. Truth be told, it probably did. Brendan suddenly realised that Steven was still soaking from the rain outside, still shivering slightly.

'Ye must be freezing. Let me get ye a blanket.'

He went to manoeuvre his crutches but Steven grabbed his hand to stop him, blushing at the sudden touch.

'Err..it's alright' he stammered, attempting a weak smile, 'I can do it, save ya legs. Do ya still keep the blankets in the airing cupboard?'

'Ermm..yeah.'

Steven started peeling off his coat which made Brendan hold a breath. He had such a slight frame, but it suited his build perfectly. 'In proportion' Brendan thought to himself.

Whilst Steven went to find a blanket, with effort Brendan made his way over to the kitchen to put the kettle on. No doubt the boy needed something to warm his insides too. Stirring two steaming mugs of coffee he heard Steven's footsteps padding behind him. He was wrapped in a large blue fleece blanket and his hair was now ruffled where he must have towelled it dry.

'I've got ye a coffee.'

'Ta' the boy smiled as he willingly accepted the drink from Brendan, trying to wrap his hands around the mug without losing grip on the blanket draped around him.

He took a couple of sips and then offered to carry Brendan's mug in to the living room for him as crutches and hot drinks didn't tend to bode well.

Brendan hobbled over to the sofas, lowering himself in to the cushions and sprawled himself out length ways. Ste decided to initiate intimacy by seating himself on the end by Brendan's feet.

They sat in contended silence for a few minutes until Brendan decided to ask:

'Have ye got any regrets Steven?'

Ste wrinkled his nose in disdain.

'Course I aint, otherwise I wouldn't still be ere would I? Ya know, I really didn't wanna hurt Doug, course I didn't, I do still care about im.'

Brendan winced.

'But the only regret I've got is that we wasted so much time in the long run, we should ave been at this point a long time ago.'

The boy definitely spoke words of wisdom.

'Come here'

Brendan raised an arm to pull Steven down closer to him, the boy willingly obliged giving Brendan the biggest grin he'd seen in a long time.

Brendan could smell the scent of rain on his hair as he nuzzled the top of his head whilst Steven draped an arm lovingly across Brendan's stomach, careful not to put pressure on any bruising.

They must have dozed off like that because the next thing Brendan knew he was being awoken by a sweating Steven, thrashing around on top of him, shouting out in his sleep.

'Brendan! BRENDAN! NO! Please don't leave me!' He was actually crying now.

Brendan winced every time the boy's erratic movements caught his injuries.

'Steven….STEVEN! Wake up! It's ok…it's ok!'

Brendan had both hands clamped around his shoulders trying to hold a distressed Steven still. His movements jolted then, hair dampened again from perspiration.

Brendan kissed his forehead trying to take the pain away. Steven was dreaming about him abandoning him? The thought made Brendan want to die inside, he'd caused the boy so much pain, he could not let this happen ever again. Steven was going to get the future he deserved, one that Brendan would give him, and make sure he was a part of.

Steven's eyes flashed open whilst he choked on his own sobs.

'I'm here Steven, I'm here. It was just a dream.' Brendan soothed.

Tears were still rolling down Steven's face.

'I will never, ever leave you…do ye hear me?'

Steven whimpered in acknowledgement.

'This here' Brendan rested his hand on Steven's chest above where his heart would be. 'This is special…and now that we've found that…I am never giving that up for the world…..ever Steven…..ok…..I want ye forever.'

Steven was trembling again, but Brendan knew it wasn't with the terrors he was feeling mere moments ago. Brendan pulled their faces together then, gently kissing away the tears that still adorned Steven's cheeks. Steven closed his eyes letting Brendan sooth him, when he reopened them, Brendan instantly recognised the look of need.

Steven fumbled for the waistband of Brendan's jogging bottoms, shrugging the blanket off of the two of them as he lowered them down Brendan's legs uncovering more cuts and bruises. Brendan held his breath, not wanting to rush Steven's next movement, he would let him be in control tonight, not that he could do much about it when his legs were injured anyway, but he knew that Steven needed this, needed to take control of what was happening, something that Brendan had rarely let happen before. He hoped that this would give Steven all of the confirmation that he needed.

When the trousers no longer covered his skin, Steven ran his finger tips up and down the length of Brendan's long legs sending a chill through the older man. Steven leant his face down, letting his lips ghost over every bruise, the hairs of Brendan's legs tickling his face. Brendan raked a hand through the boy's hair, pushing it back to get a better view of the face that he saw every time he closed his eyes. He still couldn't quite believe that they were finally here, in this moment, no more obstacles, and Brendan felt….ok about it. He could deal with this. Bit by bit they would take it, step by step.

Steven went to shrug out of his own t shirt then, looking at Brendan for permission that they were going to do this, right here, right now. To encourage the lad Brendan gently caressed his face whilst giving him a small smile, hand then trailing down to lift the hem of Steven's t shirt, showing the boy what he wanted him to do. Steven still looked nervous as hell but easily slipped the top over his small frame, soon working on Brendan's own vest which was inconveniently hiding his chest from view.

It wasn't a seductive, romantic moment, Brendan trying to shuffle around in his position on the sofa to work his arms out of the material, Steven still straddling him, and wincing every time the breath was knocked out of his ribs in short, sharp pains. Ste flinched with Brendan every time, so in tune with his lover that the pain felt like his own. The underwear was going to be a more difficult task than usual with Brendan's legs the way they were, but Ste kissed him through any possible pain as he slid them down his legs with the utmost caution.

Brendan was already semi-hard, Steven undressing him had felt even more intimate than usual, maybe Brendan being slightly handicapped had its advantages.

Steven had to undress the rest of himself unaided of course, something that Brendan couldn't wait to put right once he was on the mend.

Once every inch was uncovered, Steven kissed the contours of Brendan's rugged torso. There were bandages there now and lots of bruising, but Brendan wanted to forget about that for now, with Steven in his arms, nothing else mattered, he was the pain relief he needed.

Brendan pulled him back up for a deep slow kiss, this was Brendan's way of communicating with Steven that he was so thankful, for everything, for the way he cared, for the way he made him feel, and for giving him another chance, one that he really didn't think he deserved but sure as hell wasn't going to throw away this time.

Steven's errection was pushing in to Brendan's groin now which made him smirk at how desperate the boy was. He was still fragile though, maybe not as physically as Brendan currently was, but he was definitely breakable so Brendan didn't want to rush, wanted to savour every moment, to remember how it felt to be reunited, for it to be so new, yet so familiar.

He reached a hand down to the boy's hardness which emitted some groans as he tugged gently, Steven thrusting his hips to goad him on. He had both palms flat on Brendan's chest, desperately kissing him between panting breaths and noises of pleasure.

Brendan removed his hand, letting both of their cocks rub each other to their own accord, the friction sending spine tingling thrills through both men. They kept up the thrusting for quite some time, working up a sweat. The movements more on Steven's behalf, but Brendan encouraged him on, hands running up and down his back, admiring the glisten of his naked body.

It didn't take long before they both felt close, desperation taking hold. Steven looked lost to it, but Brendan wanted to be inside the boy, feel his inner muscles clench around his every inch as they both ascended in to an explosive orgasm.

'Steven.'

Brendan roused the boy out of his reverie. Steven's dark eyes bore in to Brendan's.

Brendan reached a hand around to smooth over Steven's backside, ready to prepare the boy. Steven then batted his hand away, a sinful, yet vulnerable look in his eye.

'Ya don't need to…I….I want it…..I wanna _feel _it.'

Brendan opened his mouth to disagree, there was no way he wanted to hurt Steven, especially when they didn't exactly have any lubrication either. Before he could utter a word Steven interrupted him:

'It's ok' he whispered, 'please, just…'

Brendan dragged him down in to a breath taking kiss, all hot breaths and biting lips.

Steven positioned himself over the head of Brendan's cock, smearing pre-cum around the hole to ease himself down. Both gasped and gritted their teeth at such intense skin to skin contact.

Once Brendan was fully inside, Steven began to rock his hips in a slow motion, gradually increasing to vertical movements as that clawing need for release began to resurface.

Brendan held a firm grip on Steven's hips as he let the boy ride him, Steven pumping his own cock ensuring they came together.

When they did, it was with so much relief that tears began to form in Steven's eyes again. Not from any discomfort or shame, but because it felt like everything was right again.

They had both missed this, missed this connection with each other so much. The dark cloud had removed itself from Brendan's head, and Steven looked visibly calmer, comforted even.

After coming down from such an intense high, Steven began to shiver from the cold air that his naked skin was now so exposed to. He removed himself from Brendan and leant down to retrieve the discarded blanket from earlier. Climbing back inbetween Brendan's legs he opened out the blanket so that it could cover the both of them, settling down to rest his head just underneath Brendan's chin.

'I love ye' Brendan mumbled in to his ear. If he'd had any doubts now, they certainly no longer existed, he was more than ready to give this boy everything.

Steven closed his eyes, a smile playing out on his lips.

'I know' he whispered, half drifting off to sleep.

Brendan panicked then. Had he just opened his heart to Steven and not had his love returned? Wasn't it usually the other way around? Was Steven testing him? Had this all just meant nothing? His mind was running away with him now.

'I love ya too'

Did….was that Steven that just spoke?

'Now go to sleep'

It was.

Brendan breathed a sigh of relief and encircled his arms around Steven's form, letting out a small chuckle at Steven's last comment.

Oh how the tables had turned.

Things really were changing….but for the better.

**Wow, so this turned in to a long chapter then. Hope you enjoyed. Some bits were rather lovey dovey, but we all deserve Stendan fluff!**

**Yes I know, they didn't use a condom which they should have done but I wanted to portray how desperate and needy their reunion sex was. Plus, Brendan could hardly move to go and get one anyway, and Ste probably wouldn't know where he kept them anymore…..it's been a while :P Also interesting how Ste became the vulnerable one too hey? ;)**

**Sorry it was all mainly from Brendan's pov this time but it didn't seem to fit as well to just change it to Ste's half way through, I try to incorporate both a bit though anyway.**

**I know the ending of this chapter seemed very final, but I do have an idea for a chapter 6 which I can hopefully fill out. Also…..if you want me to carry on with any chapters of pointless fluff then let me know, ideas welcomed ;)**


	6. Chapter 6

Vulnerable - Chapter 6

**Hey guys! It's been AGES, but I felt that we all deserved another chapter of Vulnerable ;) **

**Have decided not to state pov's in this chapter as it changes around too often.**

It took Ste a few moments to rouse from sleep and realise that someone was knocking on the door. Brendan was still asleep in his position on the couch where him and Ste had stayed last night, too blissed out and exhausted to move.

Ste gazed down at him then, always amazed at how Brendan could look even more breathtaking in sleep than he already did in person. Even the bruising seemed to suit Brendan, reminded Ste of a wounded soldier, _his_ soldier, his _hero_. Ste remembered in that moment just how lucky he was.

Shuffling his skinny frame from the warmth of Brendan, careful not to wake him or accidentally brush against any wounds, Ste made his way to the door, locating his underpants in the process, and sliding them on, along with Brendan's vest that happened to be the first thing at hand. It drowned Ste, but was better than nothing, better than answering the front door in his birthday suit. Ste enjoyed how it smelt of Brendan and smiled at the thought of last night as he opened the door.

That smile was instantly wiped off his face when he saw who was standing the other side of the threshold.

Doug's face was a portrait of anger, jealousy, despair, and sadness, and when his eyes located the oversized vest that clearly didn't belong to Ste, but was currently being worn with pride, Doug's rage finally bubbled over. His eyes blotched red as he spat words from his mouth.

'I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN YOU WERE HERE! YOU JUST TELL ME THAT THE ENGAGEMENT IS OFF AND WALK AWAY WITH NO EXPLANATION? OF _COURSE_ BRADY WOULD HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH THIS!'

'Doug, I..I'm sorry! I really am.'

Ste could hardly form the words.

'You're _SORRY_? HA!' Doug let out a bitter laugh.

The argument had finally roused Brendan who rubbed his eyes as he limped over, aided with crutches to the door in nothing but his boxers to cover his modesty, Doug's eyes bulged in disgust. Wasn't one for shyness was Brendan.

'Oh here he is, your knight in shining armour Ste! Come to save the day have you Brendan? Wasn't enough for you to break up my relationship.'

Brendan pinched the crease in his brow, hoping to evade the forthcoming headache that a row with Douglas was sure to bring.

'Did you get what you wanted then? HUH?' Doug continued, Ste wincing at the confrontation.

'You know he's only ever after one thing Ste, you've said it yourself! He'll relish in destroying our relationship, enjoy his one night with you, and then toss you in the garbage along with all the other sad cases.'

'HEY! I am NOT a sad case!' Ste snapped, voice suddenly raised in what was now anger, rather than shame. He'd never meant to hurt Doug, but if Doug thought he could start shouting every type of insult at him, well Ste wasn't going to stand for it.

Brendan smirked slightly then, always loved the way Steven could stand up for himself.

'Well what are you then Ste?' Doug continued.

'Brendan clicks his fingers and you suddenly throw away everything we've built, the security of a relationship! Brendan can't offer you that Ste, he may swan around thinking he's Mr sex appeal, (Brendan smirked at that comment too.) but what can he really offer you apart from a roll in the hay stack every now and then? You'll only end up with the bruises again as a reminder!'

Ste flinched at that last part, Doug's words really twisting the knife in, and it hadn't gone unnoticed by Brendan who was now frowning in a mixture of anger, and shame because of what he'd done in the past.

'I'm not like that anymore Douglas.' Brendan tried to snarl his words but they failed to come out anything other than faint.

'I love Steven, always have and always will, nothing was ever going to change that. I'm just sorry you had to get hurt in the process.'

Ste looked over to Brendan and smiled at his declaration, quickly sobering his expression when he saw Doug noticing the exchange.

'You were never gonna be happy until you'd got what you wanted were you Brendan? Never satisfied until you've wrecked people's lives and caused as much havoc as you possibly can.'

'Look don't start on him alright?' Ste pleaded.

'I'm the one you should be angry with! I'm the one who left ya. This is my decision alright Doug? And Im afraid you can't change it.'

Doug deflated slightly at that statement, letting out a sigh and seemingly backing down.

'Look…can we go for a walk or something? I'd rather talk about this in private.'

Ste looked at Brendan then, seeking his permission because he cared about Brendan's feelings more than his own, knew he had to make Doug see sense, but never again would he want Brendan to think that there was the slightest hint of doubt in his mind.

Brendan understood, clearly not thrilled by the idea, but he nodded his head in agreement, knew that Steven was strong enough to handle this by himself.

After Ste had gone to get changed in to more suitable clothing, Brendan stubbornly shutting the door on Douglas leaving him to wait outside, Ste and Doug were now slowly walking through Hollyoaks, making their way to an undecided destination in silence.

Mercedes McQueen passed them, raising eyebrows at the pair who were looking extremely morose. Always eager for some gossip that one, but Ste wasn't going to give her the satisfaction.

'Come on, it's probably best in ere, will give us a bit of privacy and some quiet.' Ste explained to Doug as he unlocked the front door of the deli, not bothering to switch the lights on but heading straight for the back room. Those large windows at the front were far too prone to prying eyes.

Once through to the back, Doug stood in the doorway twiddling his thumbs, a new found awkwardness consuming him. Ste had to strain to hear his mumbling as Doug kept his eyes rested on his clasped hands.

'I always knew it would be a struggle….competing with Brendan. I mean, I even had to ask for his help to buy this place, couldn't even provide that for you on my own.'

'This aint about money Doug alright?' Ste interjected.

'It helps though doesn't it? All those years of wondering when the next bill was due….all that…all that won't matter anymore.'

'So you think I'm just usin Brendan for his money now, is that what you're tryin to say?' Ste couldn't help raising his voice.

'No of course not.' Doug was able to look him in the eye now.

'What I'm trying to say though is, it's another form of power that Brendan has isn't it?'

'You know what Doug, I'm not listenin to this anymore!'

Ste went to walk away but Doug quickly tugged on his arm, silently pleading with him not to leave until their conversation was over.

Ste sighed loudly and spun back around.

'I knew you'd always love Brendan.' Doug's voice had diminished again. 'But I thought that maybe what we had would be enough, I told myself I could live with that….being second best.' He swallowed down a lump in his throat.

The guilt that Ste felt now created the most agonising pit in his stomach, he didn't want to hurt Doug, he really didn't, but he couldn't lie to him any more, that would only cause more heartache in the long run.

Ste found it difficult to look Doug in the eye when he spoke, but knew he had to with conviction otherwise this would all be a lost cause. He had to make Doug see, see that it had to be this way, he couldn't live any other way, couldn't live without Brendan.

'You're more than second best Doug…to someone else.' The hope that had filled Doug's eyes then instantly vanished.

'You deserve to be happy…have someone love you as much as Brendan loves me, and I know what you think, but he does love me, more than anyone else will ever understand. And I love him. This is why we can't be together Doug.'

Ste held Doug by the shoulders, rubbing up and down his arms as if to sooth him while Doug stared back at him with those puppy dog eyes.

'We weren't meant to be Doug, we can both see that. But I think me and Brendan were. You'll never know how sorry I am that I've made you feel like this. Of course I never wanted it to be this way, I thought I was gonna spend the rest of me life with you, but Brendan has this pull on me. I had to give it another go otherwise I don't think I'd have ever have been able to forgive meself.'

Doug looked so vulnerable right now.

'Just answer me one thing.' He said. 'Did you ever love me?'

Ste smiled then, 'Yes, very much, but…..'

'But just not enough as Brendan?'

Ste closed his eyes for a second and shook his head, confirming that Doug was right. No other love could ever compete with the way he felt about Brendan. He did love Doug, but he realised that it was just more of a brotherly love, not the consuming passion that he had with the Irishman.

'Well….I don't think there's anymore I can say then…..once again, Doug Carter loses.'

Ste's attention focused on the floor, he found it hard to look at Doug again, knowing how heartbroken he was. He continued staring at the ground until he could bare the atmosphere no more, and without saying anything, turned around and walked out of the door. He'd have to be back here sooner or later, working alongside Doug, but for the time being they were going to need some space. Ste didn't look back as he walked straight back to Brendan.

Brendan was fully dressed now when he opened the door, just casually in jogging bottoms and t shirt though, no need for a suit when you were alternating between wheelchair and crutches. This however was just fine by Ste, made Brendan more cuddly he thought.

Brendan looked wary, Ste probably looked just as nervous, but tried to reassure Brendan with a warm smile.

'So?' Brendan asked as he limped back over to the sofa, easing himself down amongst the cushions.

'Well it definitely weren't the easiest thing I've ever had to do.' Ste answered quietly.

'Steven, if there is even the slightest bit of doubt in your mind…'

'No.' Ste interrupted him, he'd made up his mind. Didn't want Brendan thinking otherwise.

'No it's you I want Brendan, alright? Always has and always will be. I told him that. Doug knows that anyway, kept goin on about bein second best. Yeah it was hard, I do still care about him, but not in the same way as I do about you. I don't ever wanna hurt anyone, but this is where I'm meant to be.'

'Really?' Brendan looked up at Ste from his position on the sofa, it made him look vulnerable, seeking this reassurance from Ste, but the gleam in his eye also gave away the fact that deep down he knew that Ste was his, he had his heart, and would damn well make sure he kept it.

'Really.' Ste confirmed, as he took Brendan's face between his hands and leant down to kiss him.

**Well I hope this chapter wasn't too boring but I felt I needed to confront the unfinished business between Ste and Doug. Hopefully the ending was heart-warming and we can forget for a few minutes about all of the horrible Stug spoilers we're getting at the moment.**


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